..."I'm a Toys 'R Us kid!" Lol.
This past weekend, Buddy and Turkey stayed the night with me after my grandma's 90th birthday party. As always, I had our night packed full of fun.
We hadn't even left the parking lot before Buddy shouts, "whoohoo party time!" I love that kid. We had to swing by my parents' house for a quick minute to get my birthday gift and then we were on our way to my place. On our way out of the driveway, Buddy and Turkey both start cheering that they are coming home with me to have fun.
We sang and danced in our seats the whole way home until Turkey fell asleep from pure exhaustion. We had all had a really long day.
On our way home, we stopped by Target, which is Turkey's favorite place to go, and we picked up lots of movie candy, Despicable Me, Eggo waffles for breakfast, and then headed home. We made a quick dinner and then proceeded to set up a make-shift campsite/tent in my living room.
It was just pure childishness and excitement to just get crazy and start moving all the furniture around and then draping it with sheets and blankets to set up our campsite. The kiddos and I had a blast and it made it all comfy and cozy for us to watch our movie.
Redecorating my living room brought back memories from my childhood where my brother and I would make tents in the living room or our bedrooms with whatever we could find. I would sleep for days in those tents feeling like I was camping somewhere outside. I felt like such a kid again!
We spent all night laying in our campsite watching our movie, pigging out on popcorn and candy, and laughing at the minions on Despicable Me. It was such a perfect night, and I loved spending time with Buddy and Turkey, especially since I don't get to see them as often as I would like. They were the best birthday gift I could ask for! :)
Spending time with those kids makes me forget about all the worries I have and I suddenly become a kid again. I wish I could feel that way all the time. It's much more fun.
What was your fondest childhood memory? What makes you feel like a kid again?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
It Has To Be A Full Moon...
It has to be a full moon, I thought on Friday night (and actually it was)...
Last week was a most interesting week to say the least! It was just downright surreal to be honest.
Sunday started off as a cleansing day. Because of all of the stress I've been having both personally and professionally, I had to really sit down and assess what I could deal with and what I couldn't. When it was all said and done, I decided that it was time to truly cut the cords on relationships and situations that were too dramatic and toxic. The easiest way I could do that was to get rid of my Facebook account. I still keep in touch with those friends that I have good relationships with, but for those who don't really have relationships with me, I don't have to worry much because they won't contact me, and I don't have to deal with their Facebook drama. By cleansing myself of this added stress, I was hoping that my outlook on things would be much more positive, but the effect wasn't immediate.
Monday started out not so great. I could barely sleep all night and was up half the the night in tears and having a mini panic attack about everything going on in my life. My birthday plans didn't turn out very well, although I am grateful to my brother, my sister-in-law, and a couple of my friends that took time to celebrate with me. Work was starting to really overwhelm me, and when I finally woke up that morning after like maybe two hours of sleep, I just couldn't handle coming into work, so I used a mental health day.
Tuesday and Wednesday were crammed with meetings and late nights per usual.
Thursday morning started out very interesting with a text from an old friend that I hadn't heard from in more than a year. We had parted ways to due to some pretty severe circumstances more than a year ago, yet out of nowhere, she contacted me asking for me to forgive her for what happened and wanting to know if we could be friends again and if I would like to be a part of my god children's lives again.
Considering how things ended with us, I honestly thought I would never hear from her again, so I was very much caught off-guard when she contacted me. All of my friends who have been around for the past few years know how much the dissolution of this friendship and being banned from having any contact with my godchildren affected me. It was as if my heart had been ripped out clear through my chest, and I still hadn't really gotten over it at the point in time that she contacted me last week.
I wasn't sure how I would feel when we actually talked about things, but surprisingly all I wanted to do was reach out through the phone and hug her. There are still a lot of hurt feelings over what happened and what was said, but under the circumstances, I understand why things went down the way they did. Surprisingly, it was easy for us to talk about stuff, even though I wasn't too sparing with how I felt about the way things occurred, although she is sympathetic to how I feel. Our relationship is by no means 100% healed, but at least we are on the right path to getting it there, and I am happy that I have a chance to have her and the kids back in my life again. It has most definitely been a little emptier without them.
Friday started off business as usual with work, although I was still a bit euphoric from the rekindled friendship from the day before. It didn't take long, though, for things to get even more surreal. After I got home from work, I decided to have a little down time to work on some things online. While I browsing the Internet, I got a message on my AIM account that took me by complete surprise. At first, I wasn't even sure I wanted to open the message (since he was no longer on my buddy list, I had to approve the message to come through) considering who it came from. Curious, I opened it.
Very, very long story short...the guy who I dated off and on last year, you know, the one who I got pregnant by and then he basically walked away from our relationship, reached out to me and wanted to talk. Well, in his words, I suddenly popped back up on his AIM buddy list, and he could now see me to message me, but apparently hadn't been able to for months. So because I suddenly was visible to him again, he thought something had changed, and that I had recently unblocked him from seeing me online and from contacting me. Yet, I hadn't ever blocked him in the first place. I just simply removed him from my life in every form: email, phone, and AIM.
I was literally sitting there at my computer thinking to myself that this has to be a full moon...It is crazy that I would start my week off the way I did to end up at the end of the week regaining an old friend and the very next day having an ex that I really cared about and wanted to still be with reach out to me. So, out of curiosity, I Googled the full moon calendar, and sure enough there was a full moon starting on March 19th, the very next day.
So, that is how our conversation started with a discussion about what had changed that he could now see me to which I had no answer. The conversation quickly progressed into small talk about what we've been up to, his business, witty banter, light flirting, us, and then would I like to come over to his new store to see the remodeling. I am not totally sure why, but despite my cautiousness toward him after what he did to me, I felt drawn to him again. I had to at least go see him, to talk with him and find out what he is like now...I am not sure it was such a great idea.
I get to his new store, and it was most definitely awkward. But as the minutes went by, something changed, and we just fell back into conversation with our normally witty banter back and forth, joking about work, our friendships, etc., and even us. After about an hour and a half of this, he finally decide to close up things for the night, and awkwardly again, I decided to leave and go home.
I was barely home and on my computer again before he messaged me again...We continued to talk, and things just kept pulling me back in again. I caved and invited him to come over and talk more in person, which I quite enjoyed. He ended up staying the night...the details of which I will not share at this time...but in the morning I started to really regret things.
I am so confused now as to what is going on. I have so many questions I wanted answered, but I don't want to drown out things between us by just beating it to death with my questions. At the same time, though, I feel like I am entitled to some answers, especially after the way he left things over 4 months ago. I am still really hurt and angry. I don't fully trust him, yet my heart just wants to forgive him and start again.
I have no clue what Friday night really was, and what it all means going forward. His life is no less busy than before, which was a part of our relationship's demise previously. I just really don't know what has changed that now all of a sudden we should start seeing each other again. We have tried to have a relationship twice before, and each time it ended disastrously, yet we both got back into things again.
I've been so lonely and missing him the past few months, that I think I let my emotions and my feelings for him overshadow my better judgment. I regret letting him back in my life so easily, especially after how badly he hurt me. We haven't really talked about things since then, and I can't help but feel like I got taken advantage of. I'm disappointed in how I handled it, and I wish I could take it back, but I will just have to see what happens over the next day or so.
I just can't seem to catch a break when it comes to love. I especially have blinders on when it comes to him, and I think he knows that. When he's with me, he seems to know what to say to make me melt for him, but the moment we are apart and trying to talk about things, I can barely get him to have a serious conversation with me about us, what he wants from our relationship, if anything at all. As much as I wish that he and I could work through things, I am just worried that nothing has really changed and that he is only wanting to be with me again because he's lonely and knows how I feel about him. I hate to feel that way, but it's so hard to not go there with our past history and with the current state of limbo everything is in with us. I guess only time will tell...but it will have to materialize one way or the other very soon. I can't let this drag out for too long. It's not fair to me and the progress I am I trying to make with improving my life.
Well, here's to another day or two of the full moon and to my 29th birthday which starts at Midnight.
Last week was a most interesting week to say the least! It was just downright surreal to be honest.
Sunday started off as a cleansing day. Because of all of the stress I've been having both personally and professionally, I had to really sit down and assess what I could deal with and what I couldn't. When it was all said and done, I decided that it was time to truly cut the cords on relationships and situations that were too dramatic and toxic. The easiest way I could do that was to get rid of my Facebook account. I still keep in touch with those friends that I have good relationships with, but for those who don't really have relationships with me, I don't have to worry much because they won't contact me, and I don't have to deal with their Facebook drama. By cleansing myself of this added stress, I was hoping that my outlook on things would be much more positive, but the effect wasn't immediate.
Monday started out not so great. I could barely sleep all night and was up half the the night in tears and having a mini panic attack about everything going on in my life. My birthday plans didn't turn out very well, although I am grateful to my brother, my sister-in-law, and a couple of my friends that took time to celebrate with me. Work was starting to really overwhelm me, and when I finally woke up that morning after like maybe two hours of sleep, I just couldn't handle coming into work, so I used a mental health day.
Tuesday and Wednesday were crammed with meetings and late nights per usual.
Thursday morning started out very interesting with a text from an old friend that I hadn't heard from in more than a year. We had parted ways to due to some pretty severe circumstances more than a year ago, yet out of nowhere, she contacted me asking for me to forgive her for what happened and wanting to know if we could be friends again and if I would like to be a part of my god children's lives again.
Considering how things ended with us, I honestly thought I would never hear from her again, so I was very much caught off-guard when she contacted me. All of my friends who have been around for the past few years know how much the dissolution of this friendship and being banned from having any contact with my godchildren affected me. It was as if my heart had been ripped out clear through my chest, and I still hadn't really gotten over it at the point in time that she contacted me last week.
I wasn't sure how I would feel when we actually talked about things, but surprisingly all I wanted to do was reach out through the phone and hug her. There are still a lot of hurt feelings over what happened and what was said, but under the circumstances, I understand why things went down the way they did. Surprisingly, it was easy for us to talk about stuff, even though I wasn't too sparing with how I felt about the way things occurred, although she is sympathetic to how I feel. Our relationship is by no means 100% healed, but at least we are on the right path to getting it there, and I am happy that I have a chance to have her and the kids back in my life again. It has most definitely been a little emptier without them.
Friday started off business as usual with work, although I was still a bit euphoric from the rekindled friendship from the day before. It didn't take long, though, for things to get even more surreal. After I got home from work, I decided to have a little down time to work on some things online. While I browsing the Internet, I got a message on my AIM account that took me by complete surprise. At first, I wasn't even sure I wanted to open the message (since he was no longer on my buddy list, I had to approve the message to come through) considering who it came from. Curious, I opened it.
Very, very long story short...the guy who I dated off and on last year, you know, the one who I got pregnant by and then he basically walked away from our relationship, reached out to me and wanted to talk. Well, in his words, I suddenly popped back up on his AIM buddy list, and he could now see me to message me, but apparently hadn't been able to for months. So because I suddenly was visible to him again, he thought something had changed, and that I had recently unblocked him from seeing me online and from contacting me. Yet, I hadn't ever blocked him in the first place. I just simply removed him from my life in every form: email, phone, and AIM.
I was literally sitting there at my computer thinking to myself that this has to be a full moon...It is crazy that I would start my week off the way I did to end up at the end of the week regaining an old friend and the very next day having an ex that I really cared about and wanted to still be with reach out to me. So, out of curiosity, I Googled the full moon calendar, and sure enough there was a full moon starting on March 19th, the very next day.
So, that is how our conversation started with a discussion about what had changed that he could now see me to which I had no answer. The conversation quickly progressed into small talk about what we've been up to, his business, witty banter, light flirting, us, and then would I like to come over to his new store to see the remodeling. I am not totally sure why, but despite my cautiousness toward him after what he did to me, I felt drawn to him again. I had to at least go see him, to talk with him and find out what he is like now...I am not sure it was such a great idea.
I get to his new store, and it was most definitely awkward. But as the minutes went by, something changed, and we just fell back into conversation with our normally witty banter back and forth, joking about work, our friendships, etc., and even us. After about an hour and a half of this, he finally decide to close up things for the night, and awkwardly again, I decided to leave and go home.
I was barely home and on my computer again before he messaged me again...We continued to talk, and things just kept pulling me back in again. I caved and invited him to come over and talk more in person, which I quite enjoyed. He ended up staying the night...the details of which I will not share at this time...but in the morning I started to really regret things.
I am so confused now as to what is going on. I have so many questions I wanted answered, but I don't want to drown out things between us by just beating it to death with my questions. At the same time, though, I feel like I am entitled to some answers, especially after the way he left things over 4 months ago. I am still really hurt and angry. I don't fully trust him, yet my heart just wants to forgive him and start again.
I have no clue what Friday night really was, and what it all means going forward. His life is no less busy than before, which was a part of our relationship's demise previously. I just really don't know what has changed that now all of a sudden we should start seeing each other again. We have tried to have a relationship twice before, and each time it ended disastrously, yet we both got back into things again.
I've been so lonely and missing him the past few months, that I think I let my emotions and my feelings for him overshadow my better judgment. I regret letting him back in my life so easily, especially after how badly he hurt me. We haven't really talked about things since then, and I can't help but feel like I got taken advantage of. I'm disappointed in how I handled it, and I wish I could take it back, but I will just have to see what happens over the next day or so.
I just can't seem to catch a break when it comes to love. I especially have blinders on when it comes to him, and I think he knows that. When he's with me, he seems to know what to say to make me melt for him, but the moment we are apart and trying to talk about things, I can barely get him to have a serious conversation with me about us, what he wants from our relationship, if anything at all. As much as I wish that he and I could work through things, I am just worried that nothing has really changed and that he is only wanting to be with me again because he's lonely and knows how I feel about him. I hate to feel that way, but it's so hard to not go there with our past history and with the current state of limbo everything is in with us. I guess only time will tell...but it will have to materialize one way or the other very soon. I can't let this drag out for too long. It's not fair to me and the progress I am I trying to make with improving my life.
Well, here's to another day or two of the full moon and to my 29th birthday which starts at Midnight.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Music Soothes My Soul
The last couple of weeks have been very trying for me both professionally and personally. I have gone days on end with little more than eating (sometimes), sleeping (little), and working. Relationships with those close to me have been strained despite efforts to work on them, and I reached a breaking point with many of them this past weekend.
Each day that has passed I've felt my mood get deeper and darker. The realization finally hit me that there is only so much in my life I can control, and I need to learn to let go of what I can't. I need stop trying so hard to make things happen that clearly aren't meant to be.
Driving long hours to and from my communities for work have only exacerbated my mood, yet at the same time, I have found a few fleeting moments of fun and even childishness on those trips. To help break up the monotony of driving so much, I listen to the radio (albeit a variety of stations along my trip).
One can only listen to so many of the same songs play over and over again before even the music gets quite boring, yet there are those moments when a song comes on and it speaks to me. Recently, Cee Lo Green, Pink, and Katy Perry have topped the list of songs that just brighten my mood and soothe my aching soul the moment I hear them. I will listen to these songs even when they start to get all fuzzy from driving out of range for the station either until the song ends or I lose it the signal.
I sing along in my car, even dance while I am sitting trying to drive, and for a few minutes I forget about everything that's bothering me. Sometimes I catch other drivers looking at me while I am jamming along in the car, and it cracks me up the looks I get. The semi truck drivers who honk at me are the best!
Over the last couple of days, I've heard the new song by Glee, "Loser Like Me", and tonight I heard another song on the show, "Get It Right". It's ironic that I used to not be a huge follower of the show until recently, but these songs really spoke to my current life and the things I am currently dealing with, especially "Get It Right".
Each day that has passed I've felt my mood get deeper and darker. The realization finally hit me that there is only so much in my life I can control, and I need to learn to let go of what I can't. I need stop trying so hard to make things happen that clearly aren't meant to be.
Driving long hours to and from my communities for work have only exacerbated my mood, yet at the same time, I have found a few fleeting moments of fun and even childishness on those trips. To help break up the monotony of driving so much, I listen to the radio (albeit a variety of stations along my trip).
One can only listen to so many of the same songs play over and over again before even the music gets quite boring, yet there are those moments when a song comes on and it speaks to me. Recently, Cee Lo Green, Pink, and Katy Perry have topped the list of songs that just brighten my mood and soothe my aching soul the moment I hear them. I will listen to these songs even when they start to get all fuzzy from driving out of range for the station either until the song ends or I lose it the signal.
I sing along in my car, even dance while I am sitting trying to drive, and for a few minutes I forget about everything that's bothering me. Sometimes I catch other drivers looking at me while I am jamming along in the car, and it cracks me up the looks I get. The semi truck drivers who honk at me are the best!
Over the last couple of days, I've heard the new song by Glee, "Loser Like Me", and tonight I heard another song on the show, "Get It Right". It's ironic that I used to not be a huge follower of the show until recently, but these songs really spoke to my current life and the things I am currently dealing with, especially "Get It Right".
Get It Right lyrics
What have I done? I wish I could
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send out a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Even though most songs last less than 4 minutes, that's 4 minutes of my day that I don't have to think about anything other than just letting loose and having fun. I am thankful for those little moments in my car or even in my house chasing the kittens around singing and dancing like I used to when I was a little kid.
Have you ever had a bad day and suddenly you hear a song that instantly changes your mood? Why does music have such mood-altering capabilities?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The Real Reasons Our Society is Falling Apart
What is wrong with people today? I can't seem to go a single day without wondering who raised some of the people I come in contact with when I am out and about for work (because as we know, I rarely do anything other than eat, sometimes sleep, and work).
Over the long drives home from Terre Haute the last two days, I've had a lot of time to mull over these interactions in addition to the TV, radio, and Facebook commentaries that I have come across. The more I have tried to analyze and understand peoples' actions and their very vocal opinions on current affairs, the sadder I have become at the reality of what our society is turning into.
Loyalty, fidelity, and honor have become optional instead of the expectation.
Divorce is at an all-time high. You can't turn on the TV or radio without hearing about some story about a celebrity, reality TV star, politicians, prominent business people, etc. having a affair, doing something shady, or betraying a friend, family member, or business partner.
Even in my personal life lately, I can't seem to find a relationship where men haven't been unfaithful, and I have had a slew of friends who don't seem to understand the concept of what it means to be a loyal, honorable friend. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship, the expectation should be that you are honest and devoted to that person and as they should be to you. Not every relationship or friendship will last forever, but the manner in which people enter and leave those relationships should be something that you can look back on and not regret how you handled those situations.
Simply put:
1) Don't lie to people you care about.
2) When they come to you with a problem, be a good friend and listen, don't criticize.
3) Just because you have one disagreement, doesn't mean the relationship has to end. If one argument is enough to end a friendship/relationship, it must not have been a very strong one to begin with.
4) A true friend will be there to take your call when you need them no matter the time, will give you the shirt off their back if you need it, and will defend you to others who judge you.
Everyone is so willing to complain, but few are willing to offer solutions.
If I hear one more person complain about how awful the government is, how terrible our schools are, or how much the economy sucks, I think I might punch them. We all know that things are not the greatest right now, that part is clear, but all I hear are complaints and very few practical solutions being offered.
Whether it's on Facebook, the local news, or even in our papers, there is commentary after commentary about how things have gotten out of control and the world is coming to an end, how we should fire everyone in public office, cut all taxes, and chop funding for all social programs. Yeah, those all sound great! Let me know how those work out for you.
I don't have the solutions for all of our societal issues either, but I am willing to work with groups for reasonable solutions. I have even worked to help elect candidates that I truly felt would make a positive difference in my community and have considered running for office myself.
The issues our programs are currently facing are not the result of decisions that were made by me or even my generation, but spending all of this time trying to play the blame game is getting us no where. Instead of focusing all of our energy on bitching about how broken everything is, maybe if people actually put half of their energy into helping to find solutions to these problems, we could make reasonable, rational, and realistic changes that will move our society forward instead of backwards.
Simply put:
1) We can't cut all taxes because whether you realize it or not, those taxes help to pay for our schools, firefighters, police officers, pave roads, and provide so many essential services that the average tax payer doesn't take the time to research.
2) If we fired everyone in government, we would lose a lot of really great people trying to make our society better. Don't get me wrong, there are DEFINITELY people who have forgotten why they were elected and no longer need to be in office, but not everyone is that way.
3) Cut all of the social programs and see what happens when you lose your job, can't afford health insurance or medical screenings, or even want to retire. You will not have any help and will be forced to suffer through those tough times with little or no help. Work to reform these programs where needed, but do not cut essential services.
Until an issue affects someone directly, few are willing to fight for it even if it is important.
For years, I along with many others in my "liberal circle" have been warning people about education, right to work, health care, etc. and yet no one felt that the messages we were trying to convey were important because well let's face it, things seemed good then, we weren't in a recession and they had more important things to worry about at the time.
Open your eyes! It doesn't matter if you have children or not, the quality of our educational system affects everyone. Poor school systems can bring down property values and crimes rates can increase because children are dropping out of school to sell drugs or run the streets. If school systems decline, fewer students will pursue a college education and the quality of the workforce will also decline. Your future coworkers may not be of the highest quality and our companies will slowly fall behind those in other cities, states, and even countries that see the importance of always investing in education.
Without diving into a drawn-out diatribe, I believe these principles can be applied to many other social issues such as those I listed above (and many, many more).
Hate is too often replacing love as a family value.
Growing up, I was most definitely the black sheep of the family. I thought my parents were so judgmental and unforgiving. For the longest time, I thought to myself that I must be adopted because we were so different in how we saw the world.
But as I got older, I came to find that my parents while rigid in many respects loved me for who I was and wanted me to change the world. Even now, my parents have come to realize the great benefits of Planned Parenthood and are extremely supportive of my involvement in the GLBT community as an ally.
While my parents were not religious by any means and did not require my brother or I to attend church, they did work very hard to instill a good moral compass in each of us. They provided us with the knowledge and fortitude to take on the world and gave us choice to make mistakes. But no matter what we did, our parents were there to love us and taught us to love others.
I just don't see this nearly enough with families these days. There are a lot of great parents in this world, but even some of the best parents are not teaching their children to view the world in this way. They are teaching their children that if someone is different from you or has different beliefs that they are wrong, weird, or should be hated. If someone is gay or "acts gay", they are sinners and damned to hell. If they are fat, push them around and call them "porky". If they are poor, they are "white trash" and "stupid hillbillies".
When is enough going to be enough? Haven't we had enough school and workplaces shootings? Haven't we had enough teen suicides? What if it was your child being bullied?
Again, imagine if parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, and other influential people in childrens' lives took half the energy they use to crack mean jokes or to teach their children about hate and instead invested time setting good examples of how to love people regardless of who they are and their flaws. It only takes one person to break this cycle to make an impact that can last a lifetime.
Life has become about who you know instead of what you do to achieve success.
What ever happened to putting in the time and hard work to reach success? What happened to those companies that used to reward people for their hard work, dedication, and loyalty to their employer?
Anymore it seems that you get jobs and promotions based on who you know instead of the merits of your work. I have watched a company tell a 15-year employee that despite her years of loyalty and hard work that it's not good enough and she may be let go soon because they don't believe that she is "cutting it." Her manager, however, who got her job based on who she knew (and by the way has no clue how to do her job effectively), is receiving accolades she hasn't earned. This employee has also been turned down for every single promotion opportunity she has applied for simply because she does not have a college degree even though she has more experience than every manager in her office combined.
I have even been passed over for jobs in my company that my fellow employees thought I would have been perfect for and more than qualified for for candidates hired outside the company. Forget the fact that I am 1) already a trained company employee, 2) actually have more experience than the candidates they hired, and 3) have been doing parts of these jobs for quite some time already.
Just because someone has connections and can get hired in a company doesn't always make them the best choice. In fact, in my experience, I have noticed that such hirings do not work out well in the long-term. So not only have you alienated your dedicated, loyal employees by these less than kosher practices, but you also wasted your time and resources on training employees that shouldn't have been hired in the first place.
Morale and company loyalty go out the window, and a new workforce generation is developed that is cynical about working for a living or moving up the proverbial ladder. This depressing attitude then carries over into their home and social lives (trust me on this...I'm in this rut now).
People are getting caught up with the short-term that they completely overlook the long-term effects.
ME! ME! ME! NOW! NOW! NOW!
This is all my generation and the generation after me thinks about: the best payout now with the shortest wait time. Consequences be damned!
Short-term: Cut property taxes now so I can save a couple hundred dollars (maybe) a year. Schools will have to close and class sizes are up to 40+ kids each.
Long-term: My kids' schools are awful. There are not enough teachers. Is this really what my taxes pay for?? We need to fire our legislators because they are doing an awful job.
Short-term: Give me a tax break so I can get back a few hundred more dollars this year. What will I do with that money? Pay off bills? Maybe. Put it into savings. Not likely. Buy a new TV? Sounds like a plan!
Long-term: Damn it! ANOTHER pothole!! When are they ever going to fix these roads? What the heck are our tax dollars paying for?
Short-term: Stop funding social programs. They are only for lazy people who don't work.
Long-term: You just got laid off. Need unemployment? Sorry, we can only help you for 1 month. Hope you can find a new job by then. Need food stamps? Sorry, we have limited funding and you don't qualify right now.
Over the long drives home from Terre Haute the last two days, I've had a lot of time to mull over these interactions in addition to the TV, radio, and Facebook commentaries that I have come across. The more I have tried to analyze and understand peoples' actions and their very vocal opinions on current affairs, the sadder I have become at the reality of what our society is turning into.
Loyalty, fidelity, and honor have become optional instead of the expectation.
Divorce is at an all-time high. You can't turn on the TV or radio without hearing about some story about a celebrity, reality TV star, politicians, prominent business people, etc. having a affair, doing something shady, or betraying a friend, family member, or business partner.
Even in my personal life lately, I can't seem to find a relationship where men haven't been unfaithful, and I have had a slew of friends who don't seem to understand the concept of what it means to be a loyal, honorable friend. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship, the expectation should be that you are honest and devoted to that person and as they should be to you. Not every relationship or friendship will last forever, but the manner in which people enter and leave those relationships should be something that you can look back on and not regret how you handled those situations.
Simply put:
1) Don't lie to people you care about.
2) When they come to you with a problem, be a good friend and listen, don't criticize.
3) Just because you have one disagreement, doesn't mean the relationship has to end. If one argument is enough to end a friendship/relationship, it must not have been a very strong one to begin with.
4) A true friend will be there to take your call when you need them no matter the time, will give you the shirt off their back if you need it, and will defend you to others who judge you.
Everyone is so willing to complain, but few are willing to offer solutions.
If I hear one more person complain about how awful the government is, how terrible our schools are, or how much the economy sucks, I think I might punch them. We all know that things are not the greatest right now, that part is clear, but all I hear are complaints and very few practical solutions being offered.
Whether it's on Facebook, the local news, or even in our papers, there is commentary after commentary about how things have gotten out of control and the world is coming to an end, how we should fire everyone in public office, cut all taxes, and chop funding for all social programs. Yeah, those all sound great! Let me know how those work out for you.
I don't have the solutions for all of our societal issues either, but I am willing to work with groups for reasonable solutions. I have even worked to help elect candidates that I truly felt would make a positive difference in my community and have considered running for office myself.
The issues our programs are currently facing are not the result of decisions that were made by me or even my generation, but spending all of this time trying to play the blame game is getting us no where. Instead of focusing all of our energy on bitching about how broken everything is, maybe if people actually put half of their energy into helping to find solutions to these problems, we could make reasonable, rational, and realistic changes that will move our society forward instead of backwards.
Simply put:
1) We can't cut all taxes because whether you realize it or not, those taxes help to pay for our schools, firefighters, police officers, pave roads, and provide so many essential services that the average tax payer doesn't take the time to research.
2) If we fired everyone in government, we would lose a lot of really great people trying to make our society better. Don't get me wrong, there are DEFINITELY people who have forgotten why they were elected and no longer need to be in office, but not everyone is that way.
3) Cut all of the social programs and see what happens when you lose your job, can't afford health insurance or medical screenings, or even want to retire. You will not have any help and will be forced to suffer through those tough times with little or no help. Work to reform these programs where needed, but do not cut essential services.
Until an issue affects someone directly, few are willing to fight for it even if it is important.
For years, I along with many others in my "liberal circle" have been warning people about education, right to work, health care, etc. and yet no one felt that the messages we were trying to convey were important because well let's face it, things seemed good then, we weren't in a recession and they had more important things to worry about at the time.
Open your eyes! It doesn't matter if you have children or not, the quality of our educational system affects everyone. Poor school systems can bring down property values and crimes rates can increase because children are dropping out of school to sell drugs or run the streets. If school systems decline, fewer students will pursue a college education and the quality of the workforce will also decline. Your future coworkers may not be of the highest quality and our companies will slowly fall behind those in other cities, states, and even countries that see the importance of always investing in education.
Without diving into a drawn-out diatribe, I believe these principles can be applied to many other social issues such as those I listed above (and many, many more).
Hate is too often replacing love as a family value.
Growing up, I was most definitely the black sheep of the family. I thought my parents were so judgmental and unforgiving. For the longest time, I thought to myself that I must be adopted because we were so different in how we saw the world.
But as I got older, I came to find that my parents while rigid in many respects loved me for who I was and wanted me to change the world. Even now, my parents have come to realize the great benefits of Planned Parenthood and are extremely supportive of my involvement in the GLBT community as an ally.
While my parents were not religious by any means and did not require my brother or I to attend church, they did work very hard to instill a good moral compass in each of us. They provided us with the knowledge and fortitude to take on the world and gave us choice to make mistakes. But no matter what we did, our parents were there to love us and taught us to love others.
I just don't see this nearly enough with families these days. There are a lot of great parents in this world, but even some of the best parents are not teaching their children to view the world in this way. They are teaching their children that if someone is different from you or has different beliefs that they are wrong, weird, or should be hated. If someone is gay or "acts gay", they are sinners and damned to hell. If they are fat, push them around and call them "porky". If they are poor, they are "white trash" and "stupid hillbillies".
When is enough going to be enough? Haven't we had enough school and workplaces shootings? Haven't we had enough teen suicides? What if it was your child being bullied?
Again, imagine if parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, and other influential people in childrens' lives took half the energy they use to crack mean jokes or to teach their children about hate and instead invested time setting good examples of how to love people regardless of who they are and their flaws. It only takes one person to break this cycle to make an impact that can last a lifetime.
Life has become about who you know instead of what you do to achieve success.
What ever happened to putting in the time and hard work to reach success? What happened to those companies that used to reward people for their hard work, dedication, and loyalty to their employer?
Anymore it seems that you get jobs and promotions based on who you know instead of the merits of your work. I have watched a company tell a 15-year employee that despite her years of loyalty and hard work that it's not good enough and she may be let go soon because they don't believe that she is "cutting it." Her manager, however, who got her job based on who she knew (and by the way has no clue how to do her job effectively), is receiving accolades she hasn't earned. This employee has also been turned down for every single promotion opportunity she has applied for simply because she does not have a college degree even though she has more experience than every manager in her office combined.
I have even been passed over for jobs in my company that my fellow employees thought I would have been perfect for and more than qualified for for candidates hired outside the company. Forget the fact that I am 1) already a trained company employee, 2) actually have more experience than the candidates they hired, and 3) have been doing parts of these jobs for quite some time already.
Just because someone has connections and can get hired in a company doesn't always make them the best choice. In fact, in my experience, I have noticed that such hirings do not work out well in the long-term. So not only have you alienated your dedicated, loyal employees by these less than kosher practices, but you also wasted your time and resources on training employees that shouldn't have been hired in the first place.
Morale and company loyalty go out the window, and a new workforce generation is developed that is cynical about working for a living or moving up the proverbial ladder. This depressing attitude then carries over into their home and social lives (trust me on this...I'm in this rut now).
People are getting caught up with the short-term that they completely overlook the long-term effects.
ME! ME! ME! NOW! NOW! NOW!
This is all my generation and the generation after me thinks about: the best payout now with the shortest wait time. Consequences be damned!
Short-term: Cut property taxes now so I can save a couple hundred dollars (maybe) a year. Schools will have to close and class sizes are up to 40+ kids each.
Long-term: My kids' schools are awful. There are not enough teachers. Is this really what my taxes pay for?? We need to fire our legislators because they are doing an awful job.
Short-term: Give me a tax break so I can get back a few hundred more dollars this year. What will I do with that money? Pay off bills? Maybe. Put it into savings. Not likely. Buy a new TV? Sounds like a plan!
Long-term: Damn it! ANOTHER pothole!! When are they ever going to fix these roads? What the heck are our tax dollars paying for?
Short-term: Stop funding social programs. They are only for lazy people who don't work.
Long-term: You just got laid off. Need unemployment? Sorry, we can only help you for 1 month. Hope you can find a new job by then. Need food stamps? Sorry, we have limited funding and you don't qualify right now.
"We are all interdependent. So we had better start caring for our opposition as much as we do ourselves." ~ The Prince & Me
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