Over the long drives home from Terre Haute the last two days, I've had a lot of time to mull over these interactions in addition to the TV, radio, and Facebook commentaries that I have come across. The more I have tried to analyze and understand peoples' actions and their very vocal opinions on current affairs, the sadder I have become at the reality of what our society is turning into.
Loyalty, fidelity, and honor have become optional instead of the expectation.
Divorce is at an all-time high. You can't turn on the TV or radio without hearing about some story about a celebrity, reality TV star, politicians, prominent business people, etc. having a affair, doing something shady, or betraying a friend, family member, or business partner.
Even in my personal life lately, I can't seem to find a relationship where men haven't been unfaithful, and I have had a slew of friends who don't seem to understand the concept of what it means to be a loyal, honorable friend. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship, the expectation should be that you are honest and devoted to that person and as they should be to you. Not every relationship or friendship will last forever, but the manner in which people enter and leave those relationships should be something that you can look back on and not regret how you handled those situations.
Simply put:
1) Don't lie to people you care about.
2) When they come to you with a problem, be a good friend and listen, don't criticize.
3) Just because you have one disagreement, doesn't mean the relationship has to end. If one argument is enough to end a friendship/relationship, it must not have been a very strong one to begin with.
4) A true friend will be there to take your call when you need them no matter the time, will give you the shirt off their back if you need it, and will defend you to others who judge you.
Everyone is so willing to complain, but few are willing to offer solutions.
If I hear one more person complain about how awful the government is, how terrible our schools are, or how much the economy sucks, I think I might punch them. We all know that things are not the greatest right now, that part is clear, but all I hear are complaints and very few practical solutions being offered.
Whether it's on Facebook, the local news, or even in our papers, there is commentary after commentary about how things have gotten out of control and the world is coming to an end, how we should fire everyone in public office, cut all taxes, and chop funding for all social programs. Yeah, those all sound great! Let me know how those work out for you.
I don't have the solutions for all of our societal issues either, but I am willing to work with groups for reasonable solutions. I have even worked to help elect candidates that I truly felt would make a positive difference in my community and have considered running for office myself.
The issues our programs are currently facing are not the result of decisions that were made by me or even my generation, but spending all of this time trying to play the blame game is getting us no where. Instead of focusing all of our energy on bitching about how broken everything is, maybe if people actually put half of their energy into helping to find solutions to these problems, we could make reasonable, rational, and realistic changes that will move our society forward instead of backwards.
Simply put:
1) We can't cut all taxes because whether you realize it or not, those taxes help to pay for our schools, firefighters, police officers, pave roads, and provide so many essential services that the average tax payer doesn't take the time to research.
2) If we fired everyone in government, we would lose a lot of really great people trying to make our society better. Don't get me wrong, there are DEFINITELY people who have forgotten why they were elected and no longer need to be in office, but not everyone is that way.
3) Cut all of the social programs and see what happens when you lose your job, can't afford health insurance or medical screenings, or even want to retire. You will not have any help and will be forced to suffer through those tough times with little or no help. Work to reform these programs where needed, but do not cut essential services.
Until an issue affects someone directly, few are willing to fight for it even if it is important.
For years, I along with many others in my "liberal circle" have been warning people about education, right to work, health care, etc. and yet no one felt that the messages we were trying to convey were important because well let's face it, things seemed good then, we weren't in a recession and they had more important things to worry about at the time.
Open your eyes! It doesn't matter if you have children or not, the quality of our educational system affects everyone. Poor school systems can bring down property values and crimes rates can increase because children are dropping out of school to sell drugs or run the streets. If school systems decline, fewer students will pursue a college education and the quality of the workforce will also decline. Your future coworkers may not be of the highest quality and our companies will slowly fall behind those in other cities, states, and even countries that see the importance of always investing in education.
Without diving into a drawn-out diatribe, I believe these principles can be applied to many other social issues such as those I listed above (and many, many more).
Hate is too often replacing love as a family value.
Growing up, I was most definitely the black sheep of the family. I thought my parents were so judgmental and unforgiving. For the longest time, I thought to myself that I must be adopted because we were so different in how we saw the world.
But as I got older, I came to find that my parents while rigid in many respects loved me for who I was and wanted me to change the world. Even now, my parents have come to realize the great benefits of Planned Parenthood and are extremely supportive of my involvement in the GLBT community as an ally.
While my parents were not religious by any means and did not require my brother or I to attend church, they did work very hard to instill a good moral compass in each of us. They provided us with the knowledge and fortitude to take on the world and gave us choice to make mistakes. But no matter what we did, our parents were there to love us and taught us to love others.
I just don't see this nearly enough with families these days. There are a lot of great parents in this world, but even some of the best parents are not teaching their children to view the world in this way. They are teaching their children that if someone is different from you or has different beliefs that they are wrong, weird, or should be hated. If someone is gay or "acts gay", they are sinners and damned to hell. If they are fat, push them around and call them "porky". If they are poor, they are "white trash" and "stupid hillbillies".
When is enough going to be enough? Haven't we had enough school and workplaces shootings? Haven't we had enough teen suicides? What if it was your child being bullied?
Again, imagine if parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, and other influential people in childrens' lives took half the energy they use to crack mean jokes or to teach their children about hate and instead invested time setting good examples of how to love people regardless of who they are and their flaws. It only takes one person to break this cycle to make an impact that can last a lifetime.
Life has become about who you know instead of what you do to achieve success.
What ever happened to putting in the time and hard work to reach success? What happened to those companies that used to reward people for their hard work, dedication, and loyalty to their employer?
Anymore it seems that you get jobs and promotions based on who you know instead of the merits of your work. I have watched a company tell a 15-year employee that despite her years of loyalty and hard work that it's not good enough and she may be let go soon because they don't believe that she is "cutting it." Her manager, however, who got her job based on who she knew (and by the way has no clue how to do her job effectively), is receiving accolades she hasn't earned. This employee has also been turned down for every single promotion opportunity she has applied for simply because she does not have a college degree even though she has more experience than every manager in her office combined.
I have even been passed over for jobs in my company that my fellow employees thought I would have been perfect for and more than qualified for for candidates hired outside the company. Forget the fact that I am 1) already a trained company employee, 2) actually have more experience than the candidates they hired, and 3) have been doing parts of these jobs for quite some time already.
Just because someone has connections and can get hired in a company doesn't always make them the best choice. In fact, in my experience, I have noticed that such hirings do not work out well in the long-term. So not only have you alienated your dedicated, loyal employees by these less than kosher practices, but you also wasted your time and resources on training employees that shouldn't have been hired in the first place.
Morale and company loyalty go out the window, and a new workforce generation is developed that is cynical about working for a living or moving up the proverbial ladder. This depressing attitude then carries over into their home and social lives (trust me on this...I'm in this rut now).
People are getting caught up with the short-term that they completely overlook the long-term effects.
ME! ME! ME! NOW! NOW! NOW!
This is all my generation and the generation after me thinks about: the best payout now with the shortest wait time. Consequences be damned!
Short-term: Cut property taxes now so I can save a couple hundred dollars (maybe) a year. Schools will have to close and class sizes are up to 40+ kids each.
Long-term: My kids' schools are awful. There are not enough teachers. Is this really what my taxes pay for?? We need to fire our legislators because they are doing an awful job.
Short-term: Give me a tax break so I can get back a few hundred more dollars this year. What will I do with that money? Pay off bills? Maybe. Put it into savings. Not likely. Buy a new TV? Sounds like a plan!
Long-term: Damn it! ANOTHER pothole!! When are they ever going to fix these roads? What the heck are our tax dollars paying for?
Short-term: Stop funding social programs. They are only for lazy people who don't work.
Long-term: You just got laid off. Need unemployment? Sorry, we can only help you for 1 month. Hope you can find a new job by then. Need food stamps? Sorry, we have limited funding and you don't qualify right now.
"We are all interdependent. So we had better start caring for our opposition as much as we do ourselves." ~ The Prince & Me
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