Memories...Oh the memories!

It's funny how you sometimes forget great moments in your life until you are reminded of them as you organize your life.  Since graduating high school, I have been to two colleges, moved nine times, stored items at Mom and Dad's over the years, purged several times during moves, and yet I still find myself facing boxes of my past that I have no idea what to do with.

What are you supposed to do with boxes of old photos, gifts, and miscellaneous items that have been a part of your life in one way or another? At what point do you decide that you no longer keep these items? Why is it so sad and heartbreaking to put these items in the trash knowing I will never see them again, yet they have been stored in boxes at least two years or more without me seeing them?

I guess life is funny like that.  Deep down you know you've done some amazing things, had nights with friends that you will never forget, and had relationships with people you truly cared about and shaped the person you are today, but yet there is still a part of you that gets nostalgic at the mere sight of these objects.

This past weekend I put together bookshelves, started to organize and clean out the bedrooms, and began the process of unpacking the final boxes from my garage in anticipation of my friend moving in soon. While I had another great friend helping me out with some of the "heavy lifting," there are just some things that I had to do myself, the least of which includes going through boxes of old photos and mementos I've held onto throughout my life.

Certain items like 4-H ribbons and academic awards and trophies from high school are things I've now realized I don't need to hold onto anymore. I know I excelled at these things, and I don't need these items cluttering up my house to tell me how successful I was. Just knowing I accomplished these awards is enough for me. Not to mention, how would I hold onto them? Keep them in a box for eternity or make an award wall (which is tacky)?

Other items like photos from high school dances and those capturing the almost six years I was with my ex fiance are harder to let go of.  When I think about the fact that these photos captured really happy times during my life, I don't want to let them go.  But at the same time, some of these photos also  represent painful, bittersweet memories because they show friendships and relationships that I no longer have, but wish I did.  I've tried over the years to get rid of them but haven't been able to bring myself to do it, and honestly, I am not sure I'm ready to do so now.

It's now been two days since I started the whole process, and I still have at least half a dozen boxes that I have finished unpacking, my living is temporarily a hot mess, and I have a stack of photos and mementos that I can't decide what to do with.  Why is this so difficult?

I know eventually I will have to get rid of much of what I have still left in boxes, but I think for the time being, some of it will stay.  It's just not time for some them to take a ride on the Waste Management truck yet...

When Will People Get Their Priorities Straight?

As much as I love a good discussion/debate, I have to admit that I am a bit saddened at the mere fact that I even have to write this blog. Maybe some of you won't agree with me, and that's all well and good, but after everything I've been hearing and reading the last couple of weeks, I felt it was time to speak up and say something.

All I see/hear much any more on the news, my friends' Facebook posts, and even in conversation at work are complaints about how awful our government is, how crappy our educational system has gotten, how outraged everyone is at the verdict in the Casey Anthony trial, etc. Complaints...that's it. No words of encouragement...no plausible solutions.

People just seem content to talk about how bad things have gotten or how they would have done it differently, but yet I rarely see anyone do anything more than talk. Not to mention, a lot of discussion around these topics (and many others) is regurgitated political rhetoric at best.  I will be the first to admit that there are people on both sides of the proverbial "aisle" who do nothing but spout the party line and post and re-post items that are just political soundbites. But I know we can do better than this...I have to believe we can.

Not to totally rehash a previous post (March 1st - "The Real Reasons Our Society is Falling Apart"), but I feel that several main premises need to be restated:

1. Everyone is so willing to complain, but few are willing to offer solutions. 
2. Until an issue affects someone directly, few are willing to fight for it even if it's important. [The exception to this rule occurs in cases where my additional premise #1 (below) applies.]
3. Hate is too often replacing love as a family value. 
4. People are getting caught up with the short-term that they completely overlook the long-term effects. 

To these I would add:

1. Media sensationalism has caused people to lose all sense of propriety and common sense. 
2. Our country has lost its sense of community and what it means to be a part of one. 

Why have we as a society become so engrossed in what the national and international media outlets deem as worthy news? Yes, we do need to rely on outside sources to help us stay connected in many senses with what's going on around the world, but too many of these outlets have veered toward sensationalism instead of responsible journalism.  A perfect case would be the Casey Anthony trial.

By no means do I want to belittle the death of an innocent two-year old girl or downplay the tragedy that her family and that community has suffered as a result of her death and the trial (and subsequent acquittal) of her mother as her murderer.  But why is THIS story so compelling that people have flown in around from all parts of the country to visit the site of where Caylee's body was found, have stood in line for days to get a "ticket" for a seat in the courtroom, and have literally caused people to be so outraged that they blast on their Facebook profiles for days about the verdict like it their child or someone close to them who was killed??? 

To me, this is pure insanity. It is one child who unfortunately had her life cut so tragically short. But is is ONE child. It is ONE story. Where is the moral and public outrage for the THOUSANDS of children that go missing or are killed in this country every year? Why aren't their stories given the same amount of attention? 

What about the senseless murders of adults that occur on a daily basis? What about my classmate's brother who was murdered just last week and left behind two young sons? Are the people of Florida, California, Tennessee, Maine, etc. going to come here and visit the site where his body was found? Are they going to sit in court every day to make sure that his killers are tried and convicted? I feel safe to say that they won't.  People in his hometown aren't even giving his tragic story the attention it deserves. I just don't get it...

Where are everyone's priorities? What happened to us as a community uplifting everyone and being there to comfort each other in times of need? When did something like a tragic death become a box office production complete with tickets to the front row?  It is sick, and the people who feed into it need help. 

Furthermore, when did we as a society start taking pleasure in watching and pursuing the misery of others? I know we are all guilty at one point in time of wishing bad karma on people who have done us wrong. I will be the first to admit I have felt that way before, even here recently. I think it's natural to feel that way from time to time, but the level at which our media and many groups in our society have taken it is unhealthy. 

In the end, what does all of this accomplish? NOTHING. In the end, this poor child is dead, her family is wrecked beyond belief, and in six months these people who have dedicated their "lives" to this story and the cause will have moved on to the next big headline until Barbara Walters or Katie Couric does a story looking back at the life and trial of Casey Anthony or until the Lifetime Movie Network creates a "based on a true story" movie about the entire situation like they've done every other major headline and trial for the couple of decades.

Instead of pouring your hearts and souls into expressing your moral outrage through your blog posts, Facebook updates, calling into TV and radio shows, and creating events like "porch lights for Caylee", why don't you actually try doing something productive that will help a child now or make things better down the road for future children?  Examples could include working with your state legislature to create tougher laws against child abusers and wife beaters, helping to mentor at-risk youth to show them good role models to aspire to be like, volunteer at a domestic violence shelter, volunteer to be a CASA advocate, join your neighborhood watch to help create safer neighborhoods, help work with authorities to stop child trafficking and find missing children/teens/at risk adults, etc.  Unfortunately, the opportunities are endless, yet so greatly needed. 

Besides trying to raise awareness of this situation, what am I doing?  Well, for starters, I have donated to many organizations who work to better the lives of at risk women and children. I have also worked with legislators to improve laws protecting people from abuse and increasing punishment for the abusers. On a personal note, I have worked for years to help a dear friend and her children out of a very tough situation and will continue to do so as long as it takes for them to be safe and have healthy, happy lives.  Finally, I am going back to law school to get a degree that will help me to assist more people in need of protection and a hand up. I want to be the type of lawyer who protects those without a voice. Maybe one day I can work for UNICEF or the UN to help women, children, and communities worldwide, but for now, I want to make a difference in my community and help as many as I can here.  

It's time for us to stop talking about making a difference and do it. I challenge each of you to do one thing this year that will make a real difference in the life or lives of those in need.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Mohandas Gandhi

The Pap Smear Ninja!

For those of you who have been following my ever so "glamorous" life, you know that I have been battling cervical dysplagia for more than 7 years.  Over the last 5 years, I have been in and out of the doctor's office getting pap smears every 4-6 months and colposcopies at least once a year if not more. Needless to say, my vajayjay has been less than pleased with how she has been treated over that time.

As blogged about in recent posts, this year marked my 29th birthday and therefore adventure into "true womanhood".  Since my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 39 and with our family's terrible history with all things cancer, especially breast cancer, I have been bracing myself for years that I would be getting my first mammogram the year I turned 29.

On Friday, the day I had been dreading finally arrived. Not only did I have to get my first mammogram, but I also had to get a follow-up pap smear since my test and biopsy in December came back semi-bad, at least bad enough to warrant a repeat pap again in 6 months.

Of course, I always dread the pap appointments, but that day brought extra anxiety.  I had to get a mammogram (which every woman I've ever heard of has said it's the worst thing ever) AND I had to "break in" a new doctor as well.  So, as you can imagine, it was a very stressful and tense going into that appointment.

In my 14 years of seeing an ob/gyn, I have never had the experience that I had on Friday. It was brilliant!!!

Not only did the mammogram not really hurt at all, but my new doctor was fantastic. He was very quick, straight to the point, assured me that I won't die from dysplagia as long as I continue with my follow-up exams (which I already knew), and got right down to business.

He was so quick with doing the pap smear, I didn't even know he was done. I mean he had the plastic ducklips in, got what he needed, and was done in under a minute. It was so quick, I thought he was pulling my leg that he was done, but sure enough he was. 

I barely felt a thing!!! Normally, my exams are really painful no matter what is done, but I have to say this is the BEST pap smear I have ever had. EVER!! My doctor is now (and will forever be known as) the Pap Smear Ninja! He was stealthy, quick, and I didn't know what hit me until it was done.

If that's how all of my future exams are going to go, I can't wait! I hope you all have your own Pap Smear Ninja, and if you don't, I'm happy to share mine! :)