Law School Updates

For those who haven't been in the loop for a while on my current law school conundrum, here's what you have missed:

I got into New England School of Law, University of the Pacific, Florida Coastal, Chicago-Kent, University of Cincinnati, Penn State University, and finally IUPUI!  I was wait-listed at several schools including Emory, University of Iowa, and University of Minnesota. There were a couple of hater schools that didn't accept me, but their loss!

After much decision, I have narrowed my choices down to New England Law and IUPUI.  I am strongly leaning toward New England largely because 1) it is in Boston, 2) they offered me a boat load of cash, 3) it has such a strong history, 4) they have a lot to offer in terms of international human rights law programs and externships, and 5) they are in an East Coast BLUE state! While IUPUI is an option, I feel it is the "safe" option that some want me to take; however, I have received no scholarship offers and it is a very regional, Midwest school that can't offer me the same type of international human rights law practice as New England (or other schools on the East Coast can).

So now that I have made a pretty solid decision about which school I am now posed with other decisions that I must make (and fairly quickly).

• Where am I going to live? 
• Roommate or not? 
• Am I going to take the cats with me or find them a new home? 
• Keep my car or get rid of it? 
• Am I really prepared to move 16 hours away by car? 
• What am I going to do with my house? (Looks like I will have to rent it)
• Am I really ready to do this? 
• How will I be able to afford giving up my career and be able to support myself in law school? 
• How will I feel missing out on spending time with my niece and nephew? 

The list could go on, but I think you get the point...Taking the LSAT and applying for law school was tough. Waiting for acceptance letters was a bit tougher, but not the really hard work is just getting started.

I am excited, nervous, sad, anxious, giddy, proud, and worried all at the same time. I truly feel law school is where I need to be, but the more time that passes, the most I start to question my choices. Did I apply to the right schools? Am I making the right choice? Should I save my seat at IUPUI in case I change my mind? What if I decide to go to Boston and don't like it there?

A couple months ago, I felt I had all the answers and was sure about things, but then people in my inner circle have started to question me on things that I wasn't worried about and now I am. Now, I am starting to wonder whether I should take the "safe" choice and stay here at IUPUI, or if I should take the "choice less traveled" and go to Boston.  Those around me are providing me with mixed reviews, and I know it should come down to what I want, but I feel like no matter what choice I pick I am taking a gamble and letting someone down.

I feel like I have something to prove, not just to others, but also to myself. For the better part of the last 11 years, I have lived my life trying to please others and be there for them. I got into Arizona State University on a nearly full-ride scholarship. I couldn't wait to go! Then I met my ex fiance (then my boyfriend) the spring before I left for college. I gave up ASU to move back to "safe" Purdue to be with him and start our lives.  I wanted to go law school, but didn't get into an Indiana school, so once again I stayed with him and gave up my dream. Yes, I got to stay close to my family and friends, but I struggled to find a job and ended up going to graduate school. I loved graduate school and though surely after I finished, I would get married, find a great job I loved, and start a family. NOPE. I got dumped just before the end of school, barely made it to graduation, and my life started to spiral downward for a while.

I bounced around to a couple of jobs, but nothing I truly wanted to do for the rest of my life. I took a small leap of faith and moved to Indy for a job, but I have been stuck in the same position for almost 4 years and feel like I am going nowhere and largely unappreciated for what I do. Indy is still a "safe" choice because I've barely moved outside my comfort zone from home.  I always seem to venture away for a bit, but never too far for too long.

Last year, I decided to be bold and try law school, which had always been a dream of mine, one that I put off because I wanted to be everything to everyone around me, except the best me I could be to myself. I was so sure that moving out of state would help, but now the "debbie downers" and "negative nancies" are starting to get into my head making me question my boldness to leave. I just feel like certain people are waiting for "the other shoe to drop" hoping that I  will either fail or give up and move back here.  I feel like they are losing confidence in my ability and drive to do whatever I want.  They say they are happy for me, but I kept help feeling that there is always a "but..." That's great, honey, "but have you thought about this..." Sure, the scholarship money is great, "but it will cost you more to do this, this, and this." Ugh!!!

So for now, I am hoping to head to Boston in the fall and even taking a road trip out there in a couple weeks. I just hope that I can continue to keep my strength of conviction and that others will eventually get on the bandwagon fully.  I really need to know that I am supported and could use some encouragement to know that I am doing the right thing, going to the right school, and that I will be able to do well while I'm there.