As much as I have tried to avoid dating and dating websites, I can't help it. I am a romantic (albeit a heart-broken hopeless romantic), and I want to believe that I will find my true love to spend my life with and build a family with. While I have been in love a few times in my life, love does not come easy for me, and losing those men that I love only makes it harder to want to try again.
But try I have. I have posted profiles and ads on more websites than I care to admit, all in the name of trying to find love. It has most definitely been an interesting experiment, and here are the results:
Result #1: Men will lie on their profiles about wanting to meet women to find "the one" just so they sleep with you and/or start a friend with benefits situation.
Result #2: It's getting more difficult to find SINGLE men on dating websites. Yes, you read it correctly...They say they are single, but after talking with them for a while, a red flag pops up and you call them on it. Then, they say, "oh I'm separated" or "I'm unhappy in our relationship and going to leave soon." Bullshit! You are just looking to get some ass on the side...I defer back to Result #1 again.
Result #3: After weeding out a ton of crazies, jerks, unattractive men, etc. you finally find someone who makes the cut. You talk with them and set up a date. You go on that date, and they are NOTHING like what you expected. They are shorter, fatter, socially awkward, etc. DATING FAIL...and back to the drawing board again.
Result #4: Maybe once in a blue moon, I find someone who makes the cut and passes the first date test. We may go on another date or two, but inevitably I find that while we are great in theory, in practice, we do not mesh. There is no chemistry, fire, spark, whatever you want to call it. I don't find my heart fluttering or feeling nervous when I am with them like you should when you truly have an attraction with someone new.
In my life, I have only truly fallen in love 4 or 5 times, but have only really seen myself spending the rest of my life with 2 of them. Both of those relationships ended very badly despite things seeming to be great in theory and practice (at least for a while). Outside of those relationships, I have found myself floundering to find men who make me feel the way they do, and I am completely disappointed at the quality of men in this world.
So, it got me thinking: am I too picky or are all the truly great men gone?
I don't feel like I have a ridiculous list of requirements, but upon talking to some friends, maybe I am a little too selective about the men I am dating (however every time I take their advice and try to give guys I normally wouldn't a chance, it never works out...ergo, why I am still single).
A few years ago I put together this crazy list of requirements, an application of sorts, for a life partner. While that list was maybe a bit over the top, I still feel that a lot of the basics are (not in any particular order):
- 27-33 years old
- Intelligent (college education preferred)
- Attractive
- Down to earth
- Quick wit
- Good sense of humor
- Extroverted (not socially awkward)
- Kind
- Caring
- Generous
- Charming
- Likes cats and dogs
- GLBT-friendly
- Liberal
- Not intimiated by a strong woman
- Loves and wants kids
- Non-smoker
- Creative or has an artsy side
- Has a good career
- Financially stable
- Family-oriented
- Has a great group of friends
- Bonus for: good at giving massages, can handle my quirkiness/fiestiness, can cook or likes take out a lot, not a heavy drinker, and can play euchre or hand and foot.
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