Snow Day

I woke up this morning to about 3 inches of snow outside. Yuck! I am not a cold weather person at all, and knowing that it was yucky and cold outside instantly decreased my motivation to work today. Why is it always like that?  So, pretty much I spent all day inside watching movies, working on some things here and there as my motivation allowed, took a lazy cat nap with the babies, and spent time catching up with friends online.  All in all, it was a lazy day, and I'm totally ok with that. :)

I used to think that if I didn't accomplish a million things in a day that somehow I was a failure, and recently, I've learned while yes, it is important to do things, that you need to take time for yourself.  And sometimes it's good enough to do a few quality things like taking time to talk with friends than do a bunch of meaningless things just because I have a list to check them off of.  In fact, by having a lazy Thursday, I accomplished more than one goal on my "Change" Checklist, so I guess in a way, I had a pretty good day. 

Even though I was lounging around most of the day, I wasn't totally idle.  It gave me a lot of time to think about things going on in my life and relationships that I've been trying to figure out. By no means do I have things figured out, but I have a few interesting theories:

1. My cats are fiercely loyal, but a bit smothering. I lost circulation in my legs several times from having them lay on me.  I guess they were not feely very motivated today either. I've been keeping them up all sorts of hours with my work around the house and with my conversations that I've been having out loud about things...They needed a nap today as much as I did. HAHA!
2. No matter how far apart you are or how long it has been since you've last talked with them, true friends are always there for you. They will build you up when you are feeling down, tell you you're blog is great (even if it's only mediocre), and convince you that you aren't crazy even when certain people in your life make you question your own sanity. 
3. Time can be both a friend and an enemy when it comes to friends and relationships.  It's funny...you can not talk friends you've known forever for months and feel like a neglectful friend, but with a quick message on Facebook, suddenly you are connected again and find out they are blogging, too.  Thanks for the chat, Colleen (make sure to check out her blog at http://cheapwineandcookies.blogspot.com/). :)
4. I am not sure I will completely figure out or understand men, but I sure like the idea of trying...when I'm ready again.  As much as I've been hurt by men and relationships, I still believe in love. I want to be mad and say "screw all men," but I really can't. I believe in true love, and I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm not yet over my last relationship and not sure if/when I will be, but when that day comes, I hope to find someone who will be honest, loyal, loving, and someone I can trust with my heart. 
5. Not having someone special to share your life with, no matter what time of year, is not fun. I miss being with someone who makes me feel warm and safe in his arms, can make all of my worries go away with just one kiss on the cheek or forehead, and who inspires me to be better and do better. Not to mention, the no sex thing is tough. LOL. God, do I miss going to bed late at night making love and waking up early doing it all over again.
6. Sometimes it takes someone you really care about putting a "mirror" in front of you for you to realize things about your life.  It is for this reason that I started this whole blog thing in the first place. After really reflecting on the issues I'm wanting to change about my life and hearing how they view my life (although it was really hard to hear), I have realized some things about myself that I honestly think I was trying to avoid admitting and dare I say, hoping weren't true. While I'm not quite sure what all of it means yet, it has definitely been an eye-opening experience.

So although today really wasn't a busy day filled with lots of tasks that I accomplished off my "to do" list, it was a big day both mentally and emotionally for me, which I think trumps any checklist I could come up with.  Tomorrow, won't be that way...most definitely have a lot to do, but just like in high school, we all need a snow day every now and then to recharge our batteries. 

Until Tomorrow
XOXO